What It Means To Be A Caregiver for survivors of suicide

A survivor’s experience is unique and their challenges are insurmountable. Being a caregiver to someone who has lost a loved one through suicide is a hugely important role and is one that will take time, patience, skill and most importantly love.

Your ability to walk with the survivor and make their grief journey a little easier will be greatly valued, not only by the survivor themself, but also their family and friends. As a caregiver your goal is not to take away the pain, but rather to provide a warm hug, a listening ear or a sounding board so that the survivor is able to express and experience their pain safely.

The Companioning Model developed by Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is very effective when working with suicide survivors.

What is Companioning?

Companioning is about honouring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect. Companioning is about curiosity; it is not about expertise. Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them. Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not about leading. Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward. Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling every painful moment with words. Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analysing with the head. Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about directing those struggles. Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.

Adapted from Mike Logan, Logan Counseling, Inc (http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com/grief-counseling-techniques.html)

Recovery for a survivor of suicide is not a passive activity.  It requires work and it requires courage. It also requires the support and understanding from others so that they can openly and constructively figure out what being a survivor means to them. As a caregiver you will need to assist and encourage them in this work. For some ideas on grief work for survivors please see the grief work workbook on this site.