Information For Caregivers

10 Most Helpful Hints for Caregivers

Do:

1. Be aware of your own grief. All of us have been affected by loss in some way and it is not uncommon for grief feelings to resurface when we are working with others who are dealing with pain and loss.  Be mindful of your own emotions and how they are impacting upon your ability to give care to others.
2. Keep yourself knowledgeable about grief and loss issues, particularly those faced by survivors. Read books and look at useful websites regularly to continually top up your understanding and remain current.
3. Listen. The most effective skill a caregiver can have is the ability to listen.  Through listening you can truly understand where the survivor is at and what their needs are.  Remember, a lot of clues will be found not in what is said, but in how it is said.
4. Be clear about your role.  You job is not to offer advice or direct the survivors path, but rather to journey along side them and help them explore their thoughts,  feelings and options.  Just ‘being there’ is often all that is required.
5. Be on the lookout for signs of complicated grief reactions.  If you feel that the person is ‘at risk’ find a way to raise this with them and encourage them to seek additional help.

Don’t

1. Over-share. While sharing some of your personal experiences may help to build rapport, remember that your job is to be there for the survivor and their grief.
2. Feel the need to talk all the time.  Sometimes the survivor may just want to sit quietly in your company.  Don’t be afraid of the silence.
3. Use clichés. Clichés such as “Be positive” or “Time heals all wounds” will not help. In fact it will probably make the survivor angry because they’ll think you don’t understand.
4. Over-assist.  Part of the recovery process is slowly taking back control over the day to day tasks of life.  If you continually do for them the things they can do for themselves, they will begin to lose confidence in their own ability to cope.
5. Try to offer solutions for the ‘why’ questions.  Why is the biggest question asked by survivors and it is important that you do not try to offer your own interpretation or thoughts.  Rather, spend time exploring how they see things and be aware that very often there is no clear answer for the why.