Book Reviews

Searching for the right book can be time consuming so to help narrow the search we’ve provided a few book reviews that should give you a good starting point and some ideas what to look for.

Book Reviews

• “No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One” by Carla Fine
  Random House, New York, USA

This book is one of the most ‘hopeful’ books about suicide bereavement on the market. Written by Carla Fine who lost her husband, a successful doctor, to suicide after 21 years of marriage, the book is an honest and spirited recount of how this one event changed her life and the resulting journey that she took through grief to hope and forgiveness. She also cleverly uses the stories of other people bereaved by suicide and words from grief and loss experts to support her own thoughts and feelings as well as to suggest to the reader that they are not alone.

Her approach to writing is warm, open and positive and while it doesn’t fail to delve openly and honestly into the painful moments and desperation she experienced, it is evenly tempered with consistent messages of love, respect and positive reflections on how she gradually came to accept her husband’s death and find peace within herself.

Those bereaved by suicide can expect to gain comfort through the sharing of her experiences and caregivers will be able to better understand the complexities of the grief journey as well as an insight into what provides hope to those in grief.

Highly Recommended for all those bereaved by suicide, friends/family members and caregivers.

• “Good Grief” by Zita Annette Weber PhD
  Margaret Gee, Double Bay NSW, Australia

This is a practical book about grief and loss and how it impacts upon our lives. There is a small section on grief and recovery for those bereaved by suicide, but this book’s most useful application is the information about grief work and kinds of activities that people can undertake to work through their grief journey in a healthy and meaningful way. The theme of the book is that grief work is hard work, but it is essential for effective recovery.

Written by an Australian expert, it contains a good balance between grief theory and practical examples. It is easy to read and provides the audience with opportunities to stop and undertake written exercises designed to heal and help with the exploration and reorganisation of grief thoughts and feelings.

This book will be particularly helpful for caregivers wanting information or ideas about grief or those bereaved by suicide who want a more direct and academic approach to grief work.

• “My Son, My Son: A Guide to Healing After a Suicide in the Family” by Iris Bolton
  Bolton Press, Roswell, GA

This book is very popular amongst those bereaved by suicide with many saying that it is the most useful resource they have found during their recovery from grief. Written after the death of her son, Bolton powerfully describes her journey as a therapist and bereaved and though it, gives other bereaveds permission to feel their emotions and realistic messages of hope and healing. The book is courageously honest and forthright, with clear messages of the ups and downs of grief and the complications brought about by the social stigmas associated with death through suicide.

One other useful and unique element of this book is its offering of poems, messages and guides that those bereaved by suicide and caregivers will find helpful.

It is important to note that people should not be put off by the title, as this book is equally useful to parents, siblings, other family members and friends who are suffering grief through the loss of a loved one through suicide. Caregivers will find it to be a powerful expression of the journey those bereaved by suicide face as well as a useful guide for what helps and hinders those bereaved by suicides during that time.

• “After Suicide: A Ray of Hope for Those Left Behind” by Eleanora Betsy Ross
  Lynn Publications, Iowa City, IA

Better viewed as a self-help guide, rather than a novel, this book is the result of decades of personal experience as a suicide survivor, as leader of a grief support group, and as founder of Ray of Hope, Inc. After Suicide is a well respected and useful read for all those who have lost a loved one as well as for caregivers who support them as the author not only shares her own turbulent story of love and loss, but also presents other stories from other people bereaved by suicide in a chapter titled “In their own words”.

Key elements covered in the book include the immediate aftermath of the suicide, the many aspects of the situation leading up to the suicide and the complicated process of recovery. It explores topics as addiction, abuse, neglect, and depression, as well as self-examination, spirituality and personal growth. It has many practical suggestions for those bereaved by suicide and others about what to do and not to do, what to say and not to say, how to help oneself, how to help children, etc. The chapter on “Why” will be especially useful for survivors who are struggling with this question.

Caregivers will find the Index a good starting point for useful information.

• “Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide” by Bev Cobain and Jean Larch
  Hazelden Publishing, Minnesota

This book has a dual purpose: 1) to help those bereaved by suicide by offering an upfront and simple explanation of the emotional turmoil felt in the aftermath of a suicide, and 2) to prevent suicide by discussing the warning signs or signals that may be present prior to a suicide attempt.

Whilst some readers may not want to or be ready to explore the issues that lead up to someone taking their own life, for those who are wanting some explanation of the ‘why’ this book will help to provide some understanding and healing through this information. Caregivers will especially find this a useful insight into both suicide prevention and postvention.

“Dying to be Free” is appealing to a wide audience and it’s simple, easy to read nature makes it useful for teenagers, friends, and family who are wanting some explanation, advise and/or hope.

• “Sanity and Grace: a Journey of Suicide, Survival, and Strength” by Judy Collins
  Penguin Group, New York

Judy Collins; author, singer, actress and songwriter, wrote “Sanity and Grace” after the death of her son through suicide. This deeply moving memoir chronicles her journey from pain to survival and offers comfort to those who struggle in suicide’s aftermath. Through her book she shows the extraordinary courage that it takes to be a survivor and fights against the stigma and social prejudices that surround suicide and those left to grieve in its wake.

As expected, this book is eloquently written and will resonate with all types of readers connecting with them on an emotional level. Her message throughout the book is that grief is hard work and that those bereaved by suicide should not be afraid to feel their pain or depression, because through the honest exploration of thoughts and feelings, healing comes.

This book will also be useful for caregivers as it expresses the grief journey in a clear and truthful voice. Her mix of journal entries and prose allows the reader to see the true depth of her experience, giving other those bereaved by suicide a voice that caregivers and the general public can relate to.

• “Towards Understanding & Bereavement Information”
  Communications Department, Ireland

These booklets are provided by courtesy of the Regional Suicide Resource Office attached to St. Patrick’s Hospital, in Waterford, Ireland Published by the Communications Department, ISBN: 1-874218-16-1, Reference Number: 11-02-0071