Jason Lee Williams

17 September 1972 -18 February 1996

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Jason was and always will be one of the most precious things in my life (I say one as his brother is just as precious to me ) and as a little boy he was a bit of a rouge but gave me such joy. My boys were my life and I really could not imagine my life without them.

As he grew his interest turned to all things mechanical and he would continually pull things apart to see how they worked but whether they went back together again was another thing.

When he first left school he got a job in the local push bike shop in Camden where we lived and enjoyed fixing and building bikes and just about worked around the clock at Christmas time putting all those bikes together for Santa to bring.

He finally managed to get an apprenticeship as a motor mechanic and although he was not good at the theory side of things he was great at the practical.

When he first got his licence I was worried sick and rightly so as he could not keep his foot of the peddle and managed to keep losing his licence.

He had had a long term relationship with a girl he meet in the neighborhood. They were both fifteen when they met and were together for 5 years. Then they broke up. At twenty one he met another girl whom he became engaged to and they decided to move in together.

The relationship broke up about 6mths later but by this time she was pregnant and Jason was so excited at becoming a father and did all he could to convince her to come back to him.

In 1995 Jason became a Dad and was over the moon although because of the relationship breakdown he was only allowed to see his son every second Saturday and only for two hours and this just broke his heart. This is when the depression started and Jason became such an unhappy young man.

Try as I could to tell him that his son would need him one day he was so afraid she would take him away and he would never see him as she had voiced this so often.

Jason then began drinking very heavily and this would make his depression all the worse.

Once again he had lost his licence and was boarding with a mate in Camden so he could ride his pushbike to work and one Saturday night after having his visit with his son that afternoon he was drinking with a mate who had called around to see him.

His friend decided to stay the night and went to bed and left Jason still up. At around six in the morning his friend awoke and could not find Jason anywhere when he finally waked out to the garage where he found my beautiful boy had taken his own life.

My life had been turned upside down and I did not know how I was going to survive this as all my thought where to be with my son. I could not function and spent most of my time in bed not wanting to face the world anymore.

It took me a long, long time to be able to deal with all of this and it was only with the help of a Lifeline support group that I attended Macarthur. This group helped me to understand that I was not alone and enabled me to talk to people who had similar feelings to me. They understood that part of me had died that day. They did not keep telling me to get over it and that time heals.

Time does not heal, you just learn to cope better. There is not a day that goes by that Jason is not in my thoughts and he always lives in my heart and I know that one day we will be reunited again.

Until then I have to go on for Jason’s son’s sake. We have a good loving relationship and as I expected all along, he does need his father.

My other son and his beautiful children also have given meaning to my life again.

“IN  LOVING MEMORY OF MY BEAUTIFUL  SON JASON A TROUBLE SOUL SET FREE AND A FAMILY TORN APART”

PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE ONES YOU LEAVE BEHIND AND THE HEARTACHE THAT IT CAUSES BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO TAKE YOUR LIFE AS IT IS NOT JUST YOURS YOU ARE TAKING IT IS ALSO THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO LOVE YOU AS PART OF THEM GO WITH YOU.